advancement

hello, yonder men who sometimes read my blogs.

i just had the most interesting and strange convo on msn with james, the ex-stalker who felt me up. i wont go through all of the fodder of the convo but he asked about having intercourse with me. my response, you have to propose. he says "i propose we have intercourse". not just that but he wants to be the recieving end of the intercoursing. this is ridiculous as you would know by reading some of my moral and ethical boundaries with sex. the number one rule is that it has to come along with monogamy, he has to be my boyfriend. to be my boyfriend he has to go out with me and has to be dedicated to me. if those parts arent there, there will be no intercoursing. he also managed to talk abt my cock and how nice it felt when we made out and felt around, that one time.

i just need him to remember that i m not going to do anything until i can enter a relationshp again. i also need him to realise that i am mourning and in my everyday life i have things that discourage me from stepping up. motivation in sex is something i am missing since abe died. i need extreme erotica to help me out. i think its one of those things you should see a doctor about. in no way is james like jay, ryan. we dont fit like the square block in the square hole like you two do. i couldnt think of a more opposite person. i just want him to make an effort and make our tidbit reltionship as ethically right as possible. its time i was sweeped off of the floor and put back together but, he just has to step up and grab the broom and dustpan.