Friday, December 11, 2009

whis is this? what is that, honey? what are you doing?

picture tells a thousand words, to me at least. here is an old blog that i ranted out when i was bed ridden with my pelvis stuff...

it has been quite educational sitting here in bed semi-crippled watching back to back seasons of will and grace. i have realised i have very similar parallels to will, it is oh so strange. i know my empathy and scathing remarks are much more like karen's but there is the interesting thing abt straight female, gay male relationships. the difference is that i dont have my jack and i am not balanced out quite as much as will is.
first thing i see is that the dynamic of the relationship means that neither tend to get as much when being in a close proximity to each other. aka a tip to all female friends, DONT HANG AND CLING FOR EXTENDED PERIODS OF TIME. it has potential to limit your and my sexytimes. thank fuck will and grace sorted that out. i deff try to keep a slight distance with female persons, the biggest reason is abt said issue. I want sexytime to happen sometime. i will not be a buttinski most of the time (or cock block) but deff will be if its going to turn foul. plus, who wants to adopt a hypothetical wife? not me.

how does one aquire a jack?

why do stright women have a habbit of dissapointment when finding out a guy (they see potential in) likes a guy? thats one of the biggest turn-off's any of my friends can have. *mini vomit* truly, if i were (agonising sentence to complete) one of those... things that like (ugh) women i think i would be a part of a football team and not in my current circumstance. we know what goes on in the former situation, dont we? group sex.
*currently haunted by having simones breasticles shoved in mah face*

tis a terrible fate for jayne (best friend) as she has the hips that bare a potential surrogacy. hahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! but i promise, it wont be your egg. JOKES (but really).

in conclusion, women are fun and shit but one way to getting a boy is to look like a frail, bella, deer type woman looking for her power assuming, obsessive edward type. this means without gay bodyguard. though most circumstances its neccesary to have the guard, like the palming of the face incident at castro's. am i right ladies? am i right??

WHERE IS MY FRUIT BASKET? brenna (best friend), any failed man has failed only because of this. there was no fruit nor was there a basket given to me. a combination of the two is a thumbs up!

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