as i have predicted this blog is a bipolar flip compared to my last few.
tonight i feel romantic, though, there is no one to flirt or serve lol. listening to some very sensual music. t shirt by destinys child in fact. i feel Abraham to tell you the truth. lately i have used my memories of abe to help me when i have needed him the most. several occasions lately. as opposed to twiddling my thumbs while nervous i play with the ring he got me. my new housemate alana noticed i had a wedding band on. this ring he bought me is so precious. its like the unofficial engagement ring. its simple enough, its silver and has "love. laugh. live." etched into it. what a fucking sweetie. my big guy is kept in these momento's. i grip my ring when i feel so scared and i have his mp3s to remind me of his low grumble and beautiful zealous expressions. though i am limited in the pictures/videos department. abe was seriously the most romantic man i have come across. he says its bc of his parents and he told me he always got advice on how to treat me from his mother. i suppose i am just longing for him. to use his expression "i want to be over you, under you and in you, hubbyman."
this video is one he cried over many times and told me this is how he sees me, how he sees us. please watch.
abe, you're the only thing i need tonight to keep me safe. i will sleep in the same position i always have been with you closer to the door. please, drag me to bed and then be in my dream. i dont ask often but please be in my dream. its only fair.