tonight

tonight i dont feel strong. i feel guilty for having fun and i am trying not to punish myself so much. i cant help it. every time i have an amazing fun day i tend to feel mass guilt afterwards esp if it is to do with the gay community. i flirted and felt good, i was at the giant sydney mardi gras fair day for the first time and i swear i found the place by following the trail of glitter left behind from the gays. i even got someones number, but, i am here again with my own thoughts punishing myself with guilt. it isnt right but its happening. im so sad, and im sad for being sad when i have had the best day ive had in a year.