as i am writing this i am teary. i didnt know i was that bad looking.
i went out to have fun tonight. i didnt know i would be humiliated in front of the whole of the wollognong queer scene. it hurts to feel this way and i am very unsure if i will ever find a guy to protect me from this.
it ws simple enough, i went out to a nightclub mainly to dance and i suddenly get dragged into this match making game. i was to ask some guys questions and to pick the best for a potential date. i asked some fun questions like, what kind of music do you like? if you were to massage me, where would you do it? and another i forgot. i was having fun and i picked number 2. he said something along the lines of he likes lady gaga and massaging inner thighs.
attractive enough right?
once i picked him, i got the prize of a dinner for two and he immediately said he had someone. if he did why would he play? its because im not at all something he would like. my friends captured this whole thing on a phone, my humiliation is cemented.
i got turned down and i am very sure it is because of the way i look.
it is too hard to be gay. i love the way i am but if it means i have to be a part of this, i dont want this. i am too fragile. i just suffered the loss of my boy. im just so hurt that i would rather rot away than put myself out there again.