Monday, October 19, 2009

recipe for the perfect man (gay)

i have in the past encountered some of the things that constitute a good man, one to be in love with and one to keep forever. after social experiments (falling and being in love) and field work, i have concluded this as my perefect man. this is purely biased but glorious.

what you will need (in a man):
1. dedication.
2. induvidual strength.
3. a willingness to change, and remain the same.
4. be ready to personally challange your insecurities.
5. emotional and physical satisfaction.
6. empathy and selflessness
7. radar, no games.


1. dedication can sometimes be a sacrifice. for example, if a man sacrifices simple things such as time just to be with you (assuming you are as well to him) then you will automatically gain the knowledge you are not taking him for granted. he will wake up that little bit earlier for you, sleep a little later after you fall asleep, and things such as this should be relitively consistant. if the man gives you a ring after numbers 2 to 7 you will also know, through its symbolism, that his entire dedication will fully reveal itself as "true dedication."

2. this man must have a strong sense of self. logistically he needs to know who he is and what kind of direction in life he is going. to involve you into this is a fundamental aspect of forming the relationship with him. induvidual strength can mean anything from security in identity traits such as sexuality, culture/religion and personality. to have his own independence means he is structurally sound, he is right for you.

3. from single to taken, the difference between being an "us" instead of an "i." your man will have to change his life path considerably to fit you in his life. change is a natural element of life. some changes that may occur are moving in with him which will reveal wether you are right together in an everyday setting. you may also observe your man sharing the same aspirations and personal goals in life that you have (eg children and pets). yes he may change, but do not take from your mind the traits of ingredient number 2, his personality and singular existance that you were so attracted to in the first place.

4. there has to be a sense of unity in your relationship, if you do not know (over a few years) most or all of your man's insecurities from the past and in the present and vice versa, you do not have your perfect man. a perfect man has scars, be prepared for that. this is where many tears and beautiful revelations about life can occur. if he confides in you, then you know you have his complete trust, it is another test of dedication, but it is not expicitly linked to being dedicated i.e. do not think that if he holds back an insecurity of his that he is not dedicated, it may be due to timing factors etc. be patient, be a shoulder to cry on and never forget a tissue and expect salt water tasting hugs.

5. of course, we get to sex. it is the fun portion of this recipe. whereas other parts of life in a relationship are emotionally dense. you should consider sex as both personal fulfilment and a chance to worship him by giving him various physical sensations. u know this man is for you if this portion of life is established as "making love" before it is called a "sexual act." sure in the begining it is fun, exciting and new, but once love making is reached, you know the recipe is going right. worship his pee pee and yes, if u feel the need, use a condom. and always ask about his sexual history, it isnt rude, it is a medical must. make a note of his desires and fulfil them one by one, as he should to yours. be sure to throw in a lot of dates beforehand, dont be a fucking hussie!!!

6. this is very simple. if encountering troubles he will always look at it through your perspective and try to work through it with you. each partner must be a safe place for the other, no continual emotional beating. the man that will place you before him is the one to have, the one to keep come hell or high water. if he is less than this you will see how genuine your relationship is NOT. your man, THE MAN, can keep your secrets and love you no less than before that secret was told.

7. after the love games of 1-6, number 7 refers to the excessive games that are placed on love. unfaithfulness should never be tollerated by you, if you feel so insecure you try your hardest to be in this relationship even with the continual games then you, in fact, are a weak person to sustain a relationship with. you probably should do a lot of internal searching to gain similar traits of that man you want to love. be on the lookout for signs too, he should be wary of your mood and you his. eliminate any games so u can get to the higher more mature state of love, a complete love.

my perfect man was my Abe

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