what i wanted to rant about in this post has something to do with having more friends, more specifically, queer/gay/whatever alternate lifestyle friends. this is just a few reasons why i dont have many and why i need a few, get my drift?
i am lacking in gay friend's for a few reasons. the smallest and most daunting part is wondering if i will try to change friendship into friendship with benifits. i dont like the fact that i could be very capable of that.
here is a little event where i totally miss the plot. i recieved a telegram from yonder that was lost in the mail just yesterday. sarah told me i broke a gay man's little gay heart one night out. and what really went on was a friendly little game i call manipulation, more to do with girl world than anything, *Regina George punched me in the face... it was awesome.* so back to the situ. i was drunk and very generous with my box of alcohol. i didnt manage to see a boy hanging around expecting those pending kisses. yes i feel guilty, but i am blocking that info in my mind as i am presently dealing with my own personal problems. but bless his little gay heart anyways. but maybe alcohol is the problem in that situation.
obtaining a male friend, a close one, who wouldnt cross the boundary, is something i would like to achieve. it seems hard with my track record. and i cant believe those people (in the past) who asked/assumed that i was attracted to my male friends when i obtained one or two. cant i just have a friend without being investigated for friendship incest? its worse enough that there was speculation of faculty incest (a term coined by sarah) last year.
why do i need one? thats simple. i am drowning in a barrel of straight people. straight female people, ones with boobs and stuff. even straight guys are just shit because of the situation i mentioned above. dont get me wrong straight people u are alright, i like you, but i want a queer friend, not just queer friendly friends. maybe a stocky tall butch guy that also likes to plait hair and dip into the art of lip gloss on occassion. i always had respect for those transgendered, drag queens (and miscellaneous) men. i respect them yet i havent obtained them as friends probably from the ozzing straightness from dancing with my straight girls where i am commonly percieved as straight.
ill make a gay friend application form someday, or just see wat happens during queer collective this year, maybe some friendships will be forged in stone, i dunno.
that is my rant!
p.s. love me, hate me, say what you want about me but all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek amy.