Sunday, November 15, 2009

off beat day

i just put a load of laundry on, its 7.27am. that really says a lot. what am i reduced to at the moment? on a side note i love the weather right now and i am sure who ever reads this will think the same, unless they are kill joy's. it is really chilly and crisp at the moment like eating a slightly too chilled leaf of ice berg lettuce. i pulled the recycle bin in and cooked an egg with mushrooms for breakfast.

tonight i didnt sleep, no. i caught sleep yesterday from 5pm to 12.30am and lasted the night talking to catherine, ray and aristides. the lengthy chats lasted till 2.30am and the content was another attempt to piece together my shattered glass known as "emotions." tonight i asked, has anyone said something to you so beautiful and amazing it hurts? i bring this up because it is the answer to that question was what accompanied me to sleep at 5.30pm. one, how does anyone deserve to be told something so beautiful and transcending? secondly, why would it bring tears, pain and discomfort to the physical life? the dialogue in the mind is his voice repeating it over and over.

ray's answer to these questions were summed through his own personal experience and the answer is still to be clarrified. we ended with the universal saying of experiencing light after darkness. i figure this universe owes me millions of rays of light. do you think i deserve this? or am i just another person in this world who hurts? everyone hurts, what compensation have we to claim to this hurt? what compensation do you REALLY deserve?

i booked a hotel room for me and my sister to go to the pcd concert. in the early hours i called her and she was tired. i feel good giving her the ticket and i dont expect any re-embursments. love my sister. i love my boyfriend still, forever. he said he loved how good a brother i was.
if your reading please comment. if u have to use cliche in the comment, reserve your comment lol, i have heard it all. see u laters.

1 comment:

  1. I believe the universe dies owe you. You have experienced a great loss, and now have to survive with the pain. Now, will the universe pay up? That I don't know. But keep asking the deep questions, they are what make our life rich. Your answers may change from time to time, but that's okay.