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right off the mark im going to say, mainly, to myself, that i am not a person to need or want love lately. i know a secret about why this is so. its because i am becoming less responsive to other people, feeling that i am no longer out there for anything and anyone. i dont bother with men anymore, in fact, no human desire to love. uncovering a more asexual being without the prospect of a relationship without sex. i am in fact on the scene and i go out in my makeup and just sit alone. i dress to what i deem appropriate for a club and i go and sit. i sometimes look around but there is a television to watch so im good.

eagle hurt me in profound way, how much longer can someone suffer till their mind retrieves into itself and resides there for a very long time? the legend of michael myers worked it out just fine. forbid touch, deny pleasure, dont expect anything and go into a hollow mind and decorate it how you want it to be. chose to shower every 4th day and dont worry about the 7x a week take out because it is your body and mind and your own escape. go there as much as you want and as you need. listen to your own brand of music and dont follow those gay groups who act a certain way.

i love my fucking hair. i love my fierce makeup. i love my music. i dont love men anymore.